This is a good example of how impulsive I am. I have been reading Beth Moore's blog since Christmas and just found out normal people have blogs on Friday and I am making one on Sunday afternoon.
I thought I would tell you why I called my blog learning to live. Beth asked us to share what God has set us free from and I thought maybe I would put it on here too. I think it will help show where I am coming from.....
God has set me free from hating myself. From feeling completely worthless and hopeless. One day when I was reading about the crucifixion, I told Him "Well at least you weren't suffering for you own stupid sin Lord" and I felt like He said, "No child, I was suffering for yours, so you wouldn't have to." That hit me so hard and I knew I could no longer beat myself up for my sin and mistakes. He paid the price already. I am free to say I am sorry and move on, I don't have to hate myself. He knew what I would be and do and chose me and loved me anyway.
My life is about Him, not me. That is incredibly freeing. If He wants me to grow in an area and I am willing, I will grow. If I still have something to learn from making the same mistake over and over, I will stay there until I learn. I trust He has the power to change me and make me exactly what He wants me to be. I am willing for whatever He wants for me, whether it be painful or joyful~that is enough for Him.
I believe we have to want Him more than victory, more than godliness, more than righteousness. He wants to be our life, our hope, our delight. Seek Him, He will take care of the rest.
All that being said, I am still not very good at the everyday part of life. I LOVE my quiet time, it is my favorite time of the day. That is easy for me. Trying to make my family dinner every night is very, very hard for me.
I want to have a clean house and healthy meals for my family and get enough exercise and be healthy and do all the "right" stuff but it is so tedious and boring and time consuming and never ending. I love to talk to my husband and kids and play with them I just hate all the WORK. I don't think I am lazy, I just hate the redundant stuff.
BUT, it has only been the last three years that I haven't struggled with severe depression, so I am hoping I am almost healthy enough to be able to take care of the boring stuff so that I can take good care of my family's (and my) physical needs.
So I guess what I am trying to say is I love emotional, spiritual stuff, and needs some serious help on the physical stuff. I know everything is spiritual and God cares about all of our lives, I am just trying to figure out how to make it all work. And it has to be through the Spirit anyway so it will be full of light and life and love, not yelling, exasperation and irritation. Not that any of us will ever be perfect, OF COURSE. :)