Monday, November 24, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving Week

Ugg, I have been sick for three days. The last two days were kinda fun. I had an excuse to lay around reading books all weekend. Today, my ribs are sore from coughing and I am getting tired of reading and I really want to be well by Thursday.

I hope you have a Thankful Thanksgiving. :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

His Work

I was racking my brain like crazy yesterday trying to find this verse: For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him. ~Phil 2:13

My point? It is His work to change us. He does it. We just have to be willing. For anything and everything. Willing. He will make us able. In His perfect time. I may have said that yesterday as well. I am kinda ranting, but it feels good. :)

Ok, now I will go insert this in yesterdays post, where I wanted to put it in the first place. :)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

God Will Not Fail Us

I am working on a theory. My heart has learned this lesson, the LONG HARD WAY but I am trying to develop it into something more solid.

Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. ~2Tim 2:11-14

Side track: Quarreling about words? What does that mean? Stirring words around and never getting to the real issue? Hmm, have to think about that.

OK, back to my theory. I spent decades of my life believing I was a failure. First, just as a human being and then after I became a Christian, I believed I was failing God.

Then God taught me, I am His work and He will not fail. I don't have to be afraid. Am I weak? Yes. Am I immature? Yes. Is my heart pure? No. Do I know how to love? No. Does He love me anyway? Yes. Will He finish the work He began in me? Yes.

I do not trust in my strength or my goodness or my maturity or my wisdom. Only He can save me. I do not rely on myself to figure anything out. Only He can guide me.

My theory: If we believe Jesus is the Son of God and that He came to save us and we are willing to do anything He asks of us (willing, not able...He will make us able in His time, Phil 2:13) we are not, and are incapable of being, failures. We can fail but we are not living, breathing, failures. Even in humongous struggles of sin and doubt. We are His masterpieces and we can trust in Him.

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. ~Eph 2:10

O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.
~Is 21:1

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Upward Focus

Christy sent me this quote yesterday, she didn't tell me who said it:

"Faith is what makes life bearable, with all its tragedies and ambiguities and sudden, startling joys. "

This is part of what I wrote her in return:

The little mundane things have to be part of an exciting meaningful whole. Then I am good with the mundane. Because it is part of something more. Of course, everything IS part of a bigger, wonderful, meaningful whole. (God's Plan) I just lose sight of the big picture sometimes and experience ennui.

Do we all have such a hard time remembering our life is part of a bigger picture, or is it just me?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Bored, again.

I am so bored, I relooked up bored on I learned a new word. It could have my picture by it. This is me, so much of my life.

en·nui (ŏn-wē', ŏn'wē)
n. Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom: "The servants relieved their ennui with gambling and gossip about their masters" (John Barth). Or
"Tawny relieved her ennui with eating and messing around on the computer"

[French, from Old French enui, from ennuyer, to annoy, bore; see annoy.]

Word History: Were they alive today, users of Classical Latin might be surprised to find that centuries later a phrase of theirs still survives, although as a single word. The phrase mihi in odiō est (literally translated as "to me in a condition of dislike or hatred is"), meaning "I hate or dislike," gave rise to the Vulgar Latin verb *inodiāre, "to make odious," the source of the Old French verb ennuyer or anoier, "to annoy, bore." This was borrowed into English by around 1275 as anoien, our annoy. From the Old French verb a noun meaning "worry, boredom" was derived, which became ennui in modern French. This noun, with the sense "boredom," was borrowed into English in the 18th century, perhaps filling a need in polite, cultivated society. (I had to put this in here to show how closely this word is tied with annoy which is also on my list of top 5 most frequent emotions.)
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Life should be bigger than it is. I have known that since I was a little girl. How Lord? How do we live bigger with You? I don't want to just survive and be good. I want to dance. With You. With Your people. I am so tired of being bored with life. I am not bored with You, I am bored with me. Could You change me quicker? I know that will spice things up! Do I dare ask in Your Name? I think I will.....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

What Does He See?

The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
~2 Chro 16:9

I have been seeing this verse everywhere lately. I love it. I wonder how many committed hearts He finds as He searches the earth today? I am praying for God to show me if my heart is fully committed to Him, begging Him to purify my heart, so it will be pleasing to Him.

Oh, let's pray for each other's hearts. Without judgement, without criticism, but in love, lift each other up. And then live boldly, knowing He will give us strength. Strength to love and to live righteously before Him, no matter what the circumstances are.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Times Changing?

Mine was the generation that could have it all. Our ethos was built on the belief that we could control everything: our bodies, our minds, our bank accounts. Got a problem? Change channels, switch jobs, take a pill, to to the gym. Our bibles were our Day-Timers. Our god was self-reliance. Quote from "Walking the Bible" by Bruce Feiler

I checked to see how old he is. Around 45, I am guessing. I see our generation in the same light. Christian and non. I am wondering if all of that is about to change? Are we prepared? How do we prepare for the unknown?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Me, learning to love.

This is one of those morning when I wonder if I am a complete hypocrite. I woke up all happy, had a warm fuzzy quiet time, and then my kids got up. And one of them stuck their spoon in the other one's cereal. And a war broke out. I was not a calm, sweet, teaching sort of mom. I told them if they don't want to be friends and love each other, THEY BETTER ACT LIKE THEY DO. (For my sake, so I don't have to deal with them.) Faking love goes against everything I believe in. Yeah, I am a mature loving grown up. Laney left the house without saying Good-bye and Gabe left trying not to cry. The only good thing is, I refused to kick the dogs when they got in my way. Is that progress?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Trying to Explain Myself :)

I don't know if my last post made any sense. I am going to try and explain a little more and see if that helps or hurts. :)

I started life thinking I had all these "rights" as a human being. One by one, God has been showing me the truth. I thought I had the need to prove myself right and He taught me, Nope, it is all about love. I thought "love" was receiving love and He taught me, Nope, I am commanded to love whether I am loved in return or not. (Only He promises to love me unconditionally). He has taught me I don't need to defend myself. I don't need to prove myself worthy. And now He is teaching me it is ok to be owned. By Him. I am rejoicing in it, actually. I never, ever, ever thought I would be ok with someone owning me, not even God.

Ok, that is still weird and I am not sure it makes any sense. I just feel like I belong to Him completely. Spirit, soul, mind and body. And I like it!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Who Owns Me?

I have been thinking again lately about our bodies being "living sacrifices". I was listening to something about slavery on the radio and they mentioned how a slave did not even "own" their own body.

My horror at someone else owning my body made me realize, I have chosen to share my body with God, and my husband, offered it up as a tool for righteousness for God's kingdom,(Romans 6) but I still feel like my body should belong to me, to do with as I please, as long as I am not sinning. I am starting to realize that is a lie from the enemy. If I believe I have ownership of my body, I also shoulder the responsibility to care for it and to control it, on my own. If I don't give up my "rights" to my body, I am hanging on to my flesh, and giving Satan a tool to fight against me with, since I am not stronger than him in my own strength.

God doesn't ask us to separate ourselves from our bodies, only to consider ourselves dead already. (Romans 6 again) Is giving up ownership of our bodies part of dying to sin? Is that when we find out what our bodies are really for? Would giving our bodies be so much more joyful than keeping them for ourselves?

(I am very excited I figured out the little linky things, yay!)