Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Circumstantial Love

My house is quiet.
My heart is quiet.
What a nice moment.

My kids get home in ten minutes though. That will be the end of the quiet house for sure and possibly the quiet heart. Depends on how long it takes me to get through the homework/chores routine.

I have been thinking lately about how much my circumstances influence the state of my heart. I do believe some of that is natural and ok. Jesus sat by the well and let his disciples go get groceries because he was tired. Of course, he also had an appointment with the Samaritan women. But still, he was tired so he sat. But I doubt He was cranky. :)

I want to be stronger. So if the time comes I ever have to be tired and hungry I can still love those around me well. So, that is a new goal for me, to be uncomfortable and still put other's needs before my own. Especially my family. They get to see me in my weakest moments and I want to love them well. Only by His goodness and grace will I ever succeed in this endeavor!

The front door just opened...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Choices

Whew, I am feeling better. My fears have been alleviated. I love it when one takes a risk and the results are much better than expected. I still need to do better at praying before I start talking though. (more prayer, less talk, more prayer, less talk...)

I have been wanting to blog about something for a while. I don't have much time before hopefully guitar hero gets turned off (I loathe it) and Jason and I can watch a movie.

I caught part of a sermon and the pastor read the story of Mary and Martha and his translation of the Bible said, "but only one thing is necessary". And I thought, really? Only being with Jesus is necessary? THAT IS SO STINKING COOL!!!!!

What do you think is necessary? I mean really? Dinner or quiet time? Prayer or TV? Safety or obedience? Love or protection? I think we chose the lesser things time and time again.

Maybe it's just me....

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

AAARRRRGGGGGG!

A couple months ago I thought relationships were easy. You love people and are honest and everything works out.

Hmmm... Now I am wondering if I have one uncomplicated relationship? Everything seems so hard and confusing. Is it because I am getting older? Knowing people longer? Knowing people better? Them knowing me?

I know it is worth the discomfort and angst but I see why some people keep everything surfacey. Much easier and possibly more fun. Not better or more rewarding, I know, but TEMPTING!

And someone was using our credit card. Thank goodness they will let you contest the charges.

What do you want most out of a relationship?

Monday, January 19, 2009

I want to do this!

So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. ~2Cor 4:18

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Daily Life...

I have been in a bloggy sort of mood lately. But this is one of those times I really shouldn't write because I have nothing very important to say. Still loving my Bible study. We met this morning. Beth promised we would go to the next level with God during this study. Totally looking forward to that! Jack Bauer is cool. The only thing that could make him cooler is if the very last moment of the last episode he reveals he is a Christian. :) (A TV show, for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about. :) I am tired from staying up until 10:00 two nights in a row, though. Glad it will only be on one night a week after this. My daughter finally passed an AR test. We have only been struggling with that for two years. She took one and failed it and then refused to take any more. My husband is running and I am still walking and I am the one who likes to run. Oh well, walking turns into running eventually. Speaking of which, I better get out there....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Prayer....

Lord, I was thinking today about how well you know me. Your Spirit lives inside of me and can see all the things I am not wise enough to recognize. You know all my thoughts and emotions. Motivations and intentions. You can remember every detail of my past, the things I have forgotten. You know how every experience has affected me, even if I didn't notice. You know my past and my future, internally and externally. On earth and in heaven. There is nothing outside of Your knowledge and Your love. Amazing. How could I ever think that You don't care about me? That I couldn't trust You to know what is best for me? Forgive me, Lord and help me to never doubt that You are with me and for me, ever again. In Jesus' Name I pray.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

But do I love them well?

I am thinking not.

Some I neglect
Some I abuse

Many I misunderstand

I am more faithless than faithful.

I talk too much and I pray too little.

Thanks be to Jesus, our Lord.
He is our only hope.

And He is enough to make all of it right. Someday. In the meantime all we can do is our best, even though it is never good enough and thank Him for His mercy and faithfulness. Thank Him for His perfect ways and that He was good enough to teach us about forgiveness.

Thank you, Lord. Purify us, strengthen us, make us more like You. For the glory of Your Name.

Friday, January 9, 2009

I Love God's People!

Young ones
Old ones

Fat ones
Skinny ones

Sweet ones
Cranky ones

Men and Women
Boys and Girls
(Over the age of 12, anyway)

Have to work on loving the self-righteous, cocky ones.
Not very good at that.
Of course, sometimes that might be me....

Yikes!

I enjoyed our small group last night so much. It was our two year anniversary and we had dinner together and went over a survey about what all of us were wanting to get out of the group. We have been using a chronological Bible and been going through the Old Testament, but when we are done with David's life, we are going to jump over to Acts and start studying what it means to BE the church. To be God's people in this generation. I love studying straight scripture. I love hearing different people's thoughts and ideas. I love how we can spur one another on in this journey.

I hope all of you have a place like that....

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Expecting Good Things...

Well, we are almost one week into 2009! How is everyone doing? I have taken 4 walks. Two with my new MP3 player and two with Jason. Haven't decided which I like better. :) I am still tired from getting off schedule for two weeks. We started our Winter Bible study this morning. Stepping Up by Beth Moore. I think it is going to be a really good one. I have some really neat ladies in my discussion group too, so I am excited about the study. I am excited about life, actually. And if you know me, you know that is my favorite place to be. :) I am expecting God to do something wonderful soon. I have no idea what, but I love His plans and ideas.

I just realize I can say the word "expecting" now without thinking of babies.

Well, not immediately anyway. :)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Young or Old, Does it Matter?

I am feeling very happy right now. I am enjoying it, because I know moments like this don't last forever. I stayed up until the New Year last night which is something I haven't done in years. We got to sleep in this morning because our kids are finally old enough to enjoy sleeping in and we let them stay up and play games and watch movies with us last night. Jason and I already took our walk this morning, so the rest of the day we can do whatever we want.

Today is my sister's 28th Birthday and I was thinking about age. One of my dearest friends just had a Birthday a couple days ago. She is in her 60s. 62? Anyway, I was thinking how age is such an earthly thing. Such a temporary thing. It means so much to us in so many different ways, but it really doesn't mean diddly squat. All that matters is our hearts learning to be in step with God's heart. In the end, how old we were when we did this or that will make no difference at all. Only if we did what God created us to do. If we believed Him and loved Him and served Him with all of our strength.

May we have willing hearts this year!