I embarrassed myself recently. Not just my average, slightly embarrassed because I said something slightly stupid. Nope, this was one of those deep, painful, embarrassments when death sounds preferable to walking among other humans again. I was really surprised at how I reacted. I hit the floor, praying. I cried out to my Lord to come sooth my soul. He was sweet, and let me feel His presence almost immediately.
Me: Oh Lord, please teach me how to be quiet!!!!
Him: (In my spirit, something like) Smiling slightly, "Child, you don't necessarily have to be quieter. You do need to be calm."
And then I just rested in His presence and let His peace flow until I was healed of the pain.
Then I asked Him to teach me wisdom with my words and that there would be way less idle ones. And I remembered the whole 'quiet means calm' thing I posted about last time. I am thinking it was very wise of Him to put calmness with rejoicing. In my case, they seem to desperately need each other.
And don't ask me what I was embarrassed about, I won't tell you. :)
Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God's love. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tradin it In!
I went to a women's seminar this weekend and I want to share my favorite part. One of the teachers explained the greek definition of "quiet and gentle" from the passage about women in one of Peter's letters. Quiet meant, "calm" or "tranquil" and gentle meant, "anger far from me".
This is very exciting to me because it fits so well with what God has been speaking to me about rejoicing. I saw a chart some time ago and it showed underlying emotions for different personalities. If I remember right, they were; fear, peace, optimism and I know mine was anger. I totally identified with that. Anger has been my fuel since I was ten. Not an out-of-control anger, but an underlying anger that moved me to go in certain directions.
So now I can see that God is asking me to trade all that anger in for rejoicing! To have rejoicing be my fuel instead of anger. What a wonderful trade! Of course this is a process, so I may still rant and rave and fuss and fume occasionally, but hopefully, there will be a whole lot more rejoicing and trusting my wonderful God to make things right.
This is very exciting to me because it fits so well with what God has been speaking to me about rejoicing. I saw a chart some time ago and it showed underlying emotions for different personalities. If I remember right, they were; fear, peace, optimism and I know mine was anger. I totally identified with that. Anger has been my fuel since I was ten. Not an out-of-control anger, but an underlying anger that moved me to go in certain directions.
So now I can see that God is asking me to trade all that anger in for rejoicing! To have rejoicing be my fuel instead of anger. What a wonderful trade! Of course this is a process, so I may still rant and rave and fuss and fume occasionally, but hopefully, there will be a whole lot more rejoicing and trusting my wonderful God to make things right.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Why the Wait...
I heard this morning that there might be a big lay off at my husband's place of work. While I was praying about it and telling God that I do trust Him to take care of us, I started thinking about how He always does what is best for us.
For so long, discipline was what was best for me. I have a very strong will and pretty much will only do what I want. God had to fix my "wanter", as they say. He had to teach me that His ways are best. I am sorry to say, He had to convince me. And it was painful. But He showed me so much mercy and revealed Himself to me and He loved me so faithfully and tenderly and strongly through it all.
I just realized this morning that we have to be prepared for blessings. If he blessed us before He changed us, we would never grow. I have spent years asking Him for things and getting a "No" or a "Not yet". I don't get mad at Him about it, (anymore) but I did wonder what the hold up was. This morning, I realized the hold up is me. I am not ready for all of the things I want. I am not strong enough or trustworthy enough or mature enough. It is God's best for me to make me wait.
I am so thankful He does not give us what we want, but what we need.
Praise You, Lord!
For so long, discipline was what was best for me. I have a very strong will and pretty much will only do what I want. God had to fix my "wanter", as they say. He had to teach me that His ways are best. I am sorry to say, He had to convince me. And it was painful. But He showed me so much mercy and revealed Himself to me and He loved me so faithfully and tenderly and strongly through it all.
I just realized this morning that we have to be prepared for blessings. If he blessed us before He changed us, we would never grow. I have spent years asking Him for things and getting a "No" or a "Not yet". I don't get mad at Him about it, (anymore) but I did wonder what the hold up was. This morning, I realized the hold up is me. I am not ready for all of the things I want. I am not strong enough or trustworthy enough or mature enough. It is God's best for me to make me wait.
I am so thankful He does not give us what we want, but what we need.
Praise You, Lord!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A Prayer....
Lord, I was thinking today about how well you know me. Your Spirit lives inside of me and can see all the things I am not wise enough to recognize. You know all my thoughts and emotions. Motivations and intentions. You can remember every detail of my past, the things I have forgotten. You know how every experience has affected me, even if I didn't notice. You know my past and my future, internally and externally. On earth and in heaven. There is nothing outside of Your knowledge and Your love. Amazing. How could I ever think that You don't care about me? That I couldn't trust You to know what is best for me? Forgive me, Lord and help me to never doubt that You are with me and for me, ever again. In Jesus' Name I pray.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Good Plans
Hebrews 11:39-40 (Amplified Bible)
39And all of these, though they won divine approval by [means of] their faith, did not receive the fulfillment of what was promised,40Because God had us in mind and had something better and greater in view for us, so that they [these heroes and heroines of faith] should not come to perfection apart from us [before we could join them].
I have never paid attention to these verses before this morning. I think it is shockingly wonderful that God has such a plan as this! All of the Saints, ever, reaching perfection, together. What a day that is going to be...
39And all of these, though they won divine approval by [means of] their faith, did not receive the fulfillment of what was promised,40Because God had us in mind and had something better and greater in view for us, so that they [these heroes and heroines of faith] should not come to perfection apart from us [before we could join them].
I have never paid attention to these verses before this morning. I think it is shockingly wonderful that God has such a plan as this! All of the Saints, ever, reaching perfection, together. What a day that is going to be...
Monday, December 15, 2008
To Judge or Not to Judge?
Romans 14:44 Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. 13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
I hear the second part of the latter verse quoted all the time. Reading it all in context today showed me something different. Yes, we shouldn't do anything to make our brothers and sisters in Christ stumble, which usually is us talking about alcohol consumption, but the other main point of this whole chapter is to trust God with other believer's personal lives, and not to condemn each other.
But then there are verses like these: 1 Cor 5:5 But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. ~12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."
If anyone has studied this and has any insight, please share. The only thing I could see is that there is a difference between different convictions and blatant sin. We should not judge one another's convictions but we should be very careful about condoning the sin in someone's life. Which means we need to make sure we know the difference between sin and someone disagreeing with our convictions.
I have no idea why I am blogging about this. Except I am trying to figure all this judgement stuff out and it helps to write down my thoughts.
I hear the second part of the latter verse quoted all the time. Reading it all in context today showed me something different. Yes, we shouldn't do anything to make our brothers and sisters in Christ stumble, which usually is us talking about alcohol consumption, but the other main point of this whole chapter is to trust God with other believer's personal lives, and not to condemn each other.
But then there are verses like these: 1 Cor 5:5 But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat. ~12What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."
If anyone has studied this and has any insight, please share. The only thing I could see is that there is a difference between different convictions and blatant sin. We should not judge one another's convictions but we should be very careful about condoning the sin in someone's life. Which means we need to make sure we know the difference between sin and someone disagreeing with our convictions.
I have no idea why I am blogging about this. Except I am trying to figure all this judgement stuff out and it helps to write down my thoughts.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Back to Our Bodies, Again
Romans12:1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
I can't get away from these verses!
What does it mean to really give our bodies to God? How do we become a living sacrifice? Practically? Do we treat our bodies any differently than the world does? I mean, really? We do seem to do a better job not sleeping around, if we stay married, that is. But is anything else different? Are we copying the world? Do we think any differently about our bodies than the world does? Is it as simple as just letting God's Spirit in us choose what we do in each moment?
Why are these questions so important? Because it is truly the way to worship Him! And it is how we know His good and pleasing and perfect will for us.
This is kind of humorous now that I think about it. I have spent years wondering if God even cares about our bodies at all, and now I am realizing that is the avenue for true worship.
Oh Lord, please teach me these things, soon! I want to worship You in spirit and in truth! For reals. What You actually mean when You use the word "worship". I don't want a contaminated worldly version. I want You.
I can't get away from these verses!
What does it mean to really give our bodies to God? How do we become a living sacrifice? Practically? Do we treat our bodies any differently than the world does? I mean, really? We do seem to do a better job not sleeping around, if we stay married, that is. But is anything else different? Are we copying the world? Do we think any differently about our bodies than the world does? Is it as simple as just letting God's Spirit in us choose what we do in each moment?
Why are these questions so important? Because it is truly the way to worship Him! And it is how we know His good and pleasing and perfect will for us.
This is kind of humorous now that I think about it. I have spent years wondering if God even cares about our bodies at all, and now I am realizing that is the avenue for true worship.
Oh Lord, please teach me these things, soon! I want to worship You in spirit and in truth! For reals. What You actually mean when You use the word "worship". I don't want a contaminated worldly version. I want You.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
His Work
I was racking my brain like crazy yesterday trying to find this verse: For God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him. ~Phil 2:13
My point? It is His work to change us. He does it. We just have to be willing. For anything and everything. Willing. He will make us able. In His perfect time. I may have said that yesterday as well. I am kinda ranting, but it feels good. :)
Ok, now I will go insert this in yesterdays post, where I wanted to put it in the first place. :)
My point? It is His work to change us. He does it. We just have to be willing. For anything and everything. Willing. He will make us able. In His perfect time. I may have said that yesterday as well. I am kinda ranting, but it feels good. :)
Ok, now I will go insert this in yesterdays post, where I wanted to put it in the first place. :)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
God Will Not Fail Us
I am working on a theory. My heart has learned this lesson, the LONG HARD WAY but I am trying to develop it into something more solid.
Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. ~2Tim 2:11-14
Side track: Quarreling about words? What does that mean? Stirring words around and never getting to the real issue? Hmm, have to think about that.
OK, back to my theory. I spent decades of my life believing I was a failure. First, just as a human being and then after I became a Christian, I believed I was failing God.
Then God taught me, I am His work and He will not fail. I don't have to be afraid. Am I weak? Yes. Am I immature? Yes. Is my heart pure? No. Do I know how to love? No. Does He love me anyway? Yes. Will He finish the work He began in me? Yes.
I do not trust in my strength or my goodness or my maturity or my wisdom. Only He can save me. I do not rely on myself to figure anything out. Only He can guide me.
My theory: If we believe Jesus is the Son of God and that He came to save us and we are willing to do anything He asks of us (willing, not able...He will make us able in His time, Phil 2:13) we are not, and are incapable of being, failures. We can fail but we are not living, breathing, failures. Even in humongous struggles of sin and doubt. We are His masterpieces and we can trust in Him.
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. ~Eph 2:10
O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.
~Is 21:1
Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself. Keep reminding them of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen. ~2Tim 2:11-14
Side track: Quarreling about words? What does that mean? Stirring words around and never getting to the real issue? Hmm, have to think about that.
OK, back to my theory. I spent decades of my life believing I was a failure. First, just as a human being and then after I became a Christian, I believed I was failing God.
Then God taught me, I am His work and He will not fail. I don't have to be afraid. Am I weak? Yes. Am I immature? Yes. Is my heart pure? No. Do I know how to love? No. Does He love me anyway? Yes. Will He finish the work He began in me? Yes.
I do not trust in my strength or my goodness or my maturity or my wisdom. Only He can save me. I do not rely on myself to figure anything out. Only He can guide me.
My theory: If we believe Jesus is the Son of God and that He came to save us and we are willing to do anything He asks of us (willing, not able...He will make us able in His time, Phil 2:13) we are not, and are incapable of being, failures. We can fail but we are not living, breathing, failures. Even in humongous struggles of sin and doubt. We are His masterpieces and we can trust in Him.
For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. ~Eph 2:10
O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.
~Is 21:1
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
What Does He See?
The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
~2 Chro 16:9
I have been seeing this verse everywhere lately. I love it. I wonder how many committed hearts He finds as He searches the earth today? I am praying for God to show me if my heart is fully committed to Him, begging Him to purify my heart, so it will be pleasing to Him.
Oh, let's pray for each other's hearts. Without judgement, without criticism, but in love, lift each other up. And then live boldly, knowing He will give us strength. Strength to love and to live righteously before Him, no matter what the circumstances are.
~2 Chro 16:9
I have been seeing this verse everywhere lately. I love it. I wonder how many committed hearts He finds as He searches the earth today? I am praying for God to show me if my heart is fully committed to Him, begging Him to purify my heart, so it will be pleasing to Him.
Oh, let's pray for each other's hearts. Without judgement, without criticism, but in love, lift each other up. And then live boldly, knowing He will give us strength. Strength to love and to live righteously before Him, no matter what the circumstances are.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Can We Hurt God?
James 4:1-5
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? (James is referring to the Holy Spirit, I checked to be sure)
I came across these verses again, when I was doing my Spirit search and I have been thinking about them off and on. I am not a theologian, so I may be wrong but here is what I came up with.
I wonder if God hates being ignored as much as we do??? Especially by people we love. Have you ever been in that situation? Where you really love someone and you can't tell if they care if you live or die? Well, they would probably go to your funeral, but by the next day, you suspect they would have forgotten all about you? And you want to rant and rave to get their attention, but you are too self-controlled and mature for that. :) (OK, I am being silly now...back to serious.)
This is what these verses say to me: As Christians we have all these ideas of right and wrong and some of us are willing to fight about them, saying we are doing it for God, when really, we are just wanting something. Something we could have, if we learn how to put God first and ask with pure motives. So we are distracted by our wants and the world. And then we can't figure out why we aren't happy. And God isn't happy with the situation either. Seems to me, anyway.
I like the thought of God being jealous because He wants my time and attention, so He can give me what I need and want instead of me scrounging for it and hurting others in the process.
Do you think God hates being ignored or do you think He is above that?
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? (James is referring to the Holy Spirit, I checked to be sure)
I came across these verses again, when I was doing my Spirit search and I have been thinking about them off and on. I am not a theologian, so I may be wrong but here is what I came up with.
I wonder if God hates being ignored as much as we do??? Especially by people we love. Have you ever been in that situation? Where you really love someone and you can't tell if they care if you live or die? Well, they would probably go to your funeral, but by the next day, you suspect they would have forgotten all about you? And you want to rant and rave to get their attention, but you are too self-controlled and mature for that. :) (OK, I am being silly now...back to serious.)
This is what these verses say to me: As Christians we have all these ideas of right and wrong and some of us are willing to fight about them, saying we are doing it for God, when really, we are just wanting something. Something we could have, if we learn how to put God first and ask with pure motives. So we are distracted by our wants and the world. And then we can't figure out why we aren't happy. And God isn't happy with the situation either. Seems to me, anyway.
I like the thought of God being jealous because He wants my time and attention, so He can give me what I need and want instead of me scrounging for it and hurting others in the process.
Do you think God hates being ignored or do you think He is above that?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Keeping Perspective
I just reread Prince Caspian after we saw the movie.
I keep thinking about this part: "Oh dear, oh dear", said Lucy. "And I was so pleased at finding you again. And I thought you'd come roaring in and frighten all the enemies away-like last time. And now everything is going to be horrid."
"It is hard for you, little one," said Aslan. "But things never happen the same way twice. It has been hard for us all in Narnia before now." Lucy buried her head in his mane to hide from his face. But there must have been magic in his mane. She could feel lion-strength going into her. Quite suddenly she sat up. "I'm sorry , Aslan," she said . "I'm ready now."
"Now you are a lioness." said Aslan.
I need that to happen "in the Spirit" between my King and I. I need His strength because I have none of my own. Don't worry about me though, I do this every now and then. And I am actually thankful for it. It puts things back into perspective for me. I am nothing, He is everything. And He who is Everything is loving me who is nothing.
I so want to see His face......
I keep thinking about this part: "Oh dear, oh dear", said Lucy. "And I was so pleased at finding you again. And I thought you'd come roaring in and frighten all the enemies away-like last time. And now everything is going to be horrid."
"It is hard for you, little one," said Aslan. "But things never happen the same way twice. It has been hard for us all in Narnia before now." Lucy buried her head in his mane to hide from his face. But there must have been magic in his mane. She could feel lion-strength going into her. Quite suddenly she sat up. "I'm sorry , Aslan," she said . "I'm ready now."
"Now you are a lioness." said Aslan.
I need that to happen "in the Spirit" between my King and I. I need His strength because I have none of my own. Don't worry about me though, I do this every now and then. And I am actually thankful for it. It puts things back into perspective for me. I am nothing, He is everything. And He who is Everything is loving me who is nothing.
I so want to see His face......
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
How Christ Loves His Church
I LOVE how Jesus feels about the Church. God not only cares about us individually (He knows when we sit down and when we rise up, how many hairs are on our heads) but He also cares very much about the Church (all of His people joined together, all over this planet in way He orchestrates and sometimes only He understands). I love how He said “Saul why do you persecute ME”, not “my people” not even “my body” but ME.
And of course, He calls us His body. He couldn’t take us more personally. We have to believe He cares and He has the power to make His body what He wants it to be. I am not saying we shouldn't do our part to make a difference if He gives us a passion for something (we just have to be sure HE gave us the passion).
All this to say, we don’t have to worry about the Church, we just need to follow the Head. That’s what I think we need to learn to do better. Anyone who is part of the body needs to learn to recognize when we are being directed to do something.
Sometimes I think we are too busy watching each other and trying to figure it all out and we never learn to really follow Him.
I don’t know how follow Him like that yet, but it is my goal. In my personal life and in the Church. We shouldn’t be able to separate them.
And of course, He calls us His body. He couldn’t take us more personally. We have to believe He cares and He has the power to make His body what He wants it to be. I am not saying we shouldn't do our part to make a difference if He gives us a passion for something (we just have to be sure HE gave us the passion).
All this to say, we don’t have to worry about the Church, we just need to follow the Head. That’s what I think we need to learn to do better. Anyone who is part of the body needs to learn to recognize when we are being directed to do something.
Sometimes I think we are too busy watching each other and trying to figure it all out and we never learn to really follow Him.
I don’t know how follow Him like that yet, but it is my goal. In my personal life and in the Church. We shouldn’t be able to separate them.
Monday, March 3, 2008
The Beginning of the Blogging
This is a good example of how impulsive I am. I have been reading Beth Moore's blog since Christmas and just found out normal people have blogs on Friday and I am making one on Sunday afternoon.
I thought I would tell you why I called my blog learning to live. Beth asked us to share what God has set us free from and I thought maybe I would put it on here too. I think it will help show where I am coming from.....
God has set me free from hating myself. From feeling completely worthless and hopeless. One day when I was reading about the crucifixion, I told Him "Well at least you weren't suffering for you own stupid sin Lord" and I felt like He said, "No child, I was suffering for yours, so you wouldn't have to." That hit me so hard and I knew I could no longer beat myself up for my sin and mistakes. He paid the price already. I am free to say I am sorry and move on, I don't have to hate myself. He knew what I would be and do and chose me and loved me anyway.
My life is about Him, not me. That is incredibly freeing. If He wants me to grow in an area and I am willing, I will grow. If I still have something to learn from making the same mistake over and over, I will stay there until I learn. I trust He has the power to change me and make me exactly what He wants me to be. I am willing for whatever He wants for me, whether it be painful or joyful~that is enough for Him.
I believe we have to want Him more than victory, more than godliness, more than righteousness. He wants to be our life, our hope, our delight. Seek Him, He will take care of the rest.
All that being said, I am still not very good at the everyday part of life. I LOVE my quiet time, it is my favorite time of the day. That is easy for me. Trying to make my family dinner every night is very, very hard for me.
I want to have a clean house and healthy meals for my family and get enough exercise and be healthy and do all the "right" stuff but it is so tedious and boring and time consuming and never ending. I love to talk to my husband and kids and play with them I just hate all the WORK. I don't think I am lazy, I just hate the redundant stuff.
BUT, it has only been the last three years that I haven't struggled with severe depression, so I am hoping I am almost healthy enough to be able to take care of the boring stuff so that I can take good care of my family's (and my) physical needs.
So I guess what I am trying to say is I love emotional, spiritual stuff, and needs some serious help on the physical stuff. I know everything is spiritual and God cares about all of our lives, I am just trying to figure out how to make it all work. And it has to be through the Spirit anyway so it will be full of light and life and love, not yelling, exasperation and irritation. Not that any of us will ever be perfect, OF COURSE. :)
I thought I would tell you why I called my blog learning to live. Beth asked us to share what God has set us free from and I thought maybe I would put it on here too. I think it will help show where I am coming from.....
God has set me free from hating myself. From feeling completely worthless and hopeless. One day when I was reading about the crucifixion, I told Him "Well at least you weren't suffering for you own stupid sin Lord" and I felt like He said, "No child, I was suffering for yours, so you wouldn't have to." That hit me so hard and I knew I could no longer beat myself up for my sin and mistakes. He paid the price already. I am free to say I am sorry and move on, I don't have to hate myself. He knew what I would be and do and chose me and loved me anyway.
My life is about Him, not me. That is incredibly freeing. If He wants me to grow in an area and I am willing, I will grow. If I still have something to learn from making the same mistake over and over, I will stay there until I learn. I trust He has the power to change me and make me exactly what He wants me to be. I am willing for whatever He wants for me, whether it be painful or joyful~that is enough for Him.
I believe we have to want Him more than victory, more than godliness, more than righteousness. He wants to be our life, our hope, our delight. Seek Him, He will take care of the rest.
All that being said, I am still not very good at the everyday part of life. I LOVE my quiet time, it is my favorite time of the day. That is easy for me. Trying to make my family dinner every night is very, very hard for me.
I want to have a clean house and healthy meals for my family and get enough exercise and be healthy and do all the "right" stuff but it is so tedious and boring and time consuming and never ending. I love to talk to my husband and kids and play with them I just hate all the WORK. I don't think I am lazy, I just hate the redundant stuff.
BUT, it has only been the last three years that I haven't struggled with severe depression, so I am hoping I am almost healthy enough to be able to take care of the boring stuff so that I can take good care of my family's (and my) physical needs.
So I guess what I am trying to say is I love emotional, spiritual stuff, and needs some serious help on the physical stuff. I know everything is spiritual and God cares about all of our lives, I am just trying to figure out how to make it all work. And it has to be through the Spirit anyway so it will be full of light and life and love, not yelling, exasperation and irritation. Not that any of us will ever be perfect, OF COURSE. :)
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