I don't know if I can express how full my heart is right now, but I want to try. I have been feeling like a failure lately. Spiritually, physically, emotionally. As a woman and as a mother. My head has known that it is not true, that God in His mercy, was helping me do the job He wanted me to do and be the person He wants me to be, but my heart has been crying, crying out to Him to help me. I have felt lost. (Those of you who know me well, know that I used to feel like this ALL the time, and for it to be a every 6 month thing, instead of daily, is a huge improvement).
So this morning I woke up happy, which was good enough for me. I went into my time with God this morning and He reminded me that He wants me to "Rejoice, always" and I had forgotten that is one of my assignments. I found the verse in my Bible really easily, "Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice!" I was thinking about what a fun assignment that is, to learn to rejoice always. And I found this verse, "Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God."
Ok, that made me so stinkin happy and I will try to explain why.
What I see, what you see, IS NOT MY REAL LIFE! My real life is hidden, with Christ, in God. There is nothing I treasure more in life than my times with Him, when I catch a glimpse of who He is. I never realized I was also catching a glimpse of who I really am as well. Who I am, with Him, is my real life. Those times in His presence when everything else falls away, are the closest I can get to my real, hidden life. More real than me not fitting into my clothes from last summer. More real than me being selfish because I am feeling sorry for myself. More real than the discouragement I feel because I can't make my life be what I want it to be and still put God first. Not that I don't have to repent for those things, I do. But those moments don't define my life.
My real life is hidden. With Christ. In God. And that is the truth.
There can be no failure with Christ. There can be no shame. There can be nothing impure or sinful. This motivates me even more to seek Him first. He is where my true life is found. Like Jackie said in her newsletter article, it is the times when I am in His presence, that I am the most myself. There is so much freedom and joy in that.
EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, is about Christ.
"And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory."