All the things I forgot to say...

Jason had to work last night and I was dying to go to church, so I went without him. (He has to sleep Sunday morning.) My ten year old and my eight year old wanted to go to "big people" church with me and I thought, "why not?". I told them they might get bored but they would have to be quiet and stay anyway. My ten year old was very good. My eight year old was not.

I didn't think to tell Gabe he would also need to sit still. And if he dropped the one little toy I told him he could bring in, that he couldn't jump up, hit the back of the lady in front of him, run over the lady sitting beside him, and snatch it out of the isle, especially while the pastor was looking our direction.

I also thought he already knew not to put his feet on the chairs if he had shoes on. And if he takes his shoes off, he really shouldn't swing them around by the shoelaces in church.

Oh, and I forgot that when he yawns, he also adds this very loud noise with his voice. I think he has always done that, so he didn't understand why I was spanking him with my eyes the three or four times he did that!

IF he ever comes with me again, I apparently need to explain the difference between church and the movie theatre.

It was all very embarrassing. And he is grounded from all things electronical today.

Praising Him

My heart is full of joy this morning.

God is so good. And wise. And strong.

He is for us.

We give up too soon, before we get to see Him work,

sometimes.

The times when we persevere and see something through to completion are glorious.

Lord, teach us to know You!

If we know You, we can't help but trust You.

To whom do You Compare?

Called to Love

We were talking Saturday in my prayer group about our callings. We all prayed about it together and now I am feeling "smote to the heart". God has been reminding me today that as a Christian, my greatest calling is to love. God and every person He puts in my life. I don't know if I have much business worrying about any other calling right now. Especially if it makes me forget about this first calling. And I can't do anything right or well for God if I haven't learned to love, at least a little, first. So, I guess until I have learned to love until it hurts and rejoice in Him while I am doing it, I needn't be so worried about any other role I will play in God's kingdom. Does anyone else have a hard time remembering it's all about love, or is it just me?

Nightmares

Ugg, I am having bad dreams again. I do this sometimes when I am stressed out. (Retreat time) Last night I dreamed my sister and I were fighting so much I moved to Washington, to live with my Grandma who passed away a year ago. (That's dreams for ya) The night before I dreamt that I was going to have another baby. That might not sound like a nightmare, but for me, it is. :)

So, anyone feel like discussing dreams? What do you think causes them?

Happy Heart Today

I have had a very interesting day today. I had a revelation or two, embarrassed myself to death, had some wonderful conversations and prayer with people. I wish every day was this exciting. (I could live without the embarrassment, of course.)

So, my morning revelation was that it is God's will that His people be full of peace and joy and love. Every moment. That we be anxious for nothing. I was praying that His will be done and realized that according to the Bible, His will is for me to be full of the Spirit and all of the delicious fruit that brings. Why is it so hard for that to be my will too? That is what I want, right? So why do I choose something different? No more excuses now, dang it. Except I probably will forget this and have to be reminded about 82 times before it sticks.

My afternoon revelation is it is really hard for me to pray on one topic for an hour. Talk about rabbit trails! I love to pray and can pray for hours, but not on one topic! About half-way through, I got the brilliant idea to ask Jesus to intercede for my interceding because I was afraid I was failing miserably and thought I would share my time with Him and He could pray much better anyway. :)

Prayer is strange. It is so neat that He wants us to talk to Him but He could do so much better just doing everything Himself. But that is not His plan, He wants us to play a part. So cool!

AND the sun is shining...

Just wondering...

I am dreaming of daffodils and sunshine.

The magic of the seasons never gets old.

For me, anyway...

God is so creative and thoughtful.

Do we not realize how much He cares for us?

Hmm...

He does disguise His love for us sometimes, though.

Why, I wonder?

I was reading through the red parts of Mark this morning. I noticed twice Jesus told the disciples that they didn't understand something because of their "hard hearts". I thought that was kinda strange, that faith had to do with the hardness or softness of our hearts.

I prayed that He would give me a softer heart, so I could have more faith in Him. A soft heart sounds a little scary though. Kinda like asking for a weak heart. It feels like I am asking to suffer. A hard heart feels stronger, but I wonder, is a heart that is strong enough to be soft, actually the strongest kind?

Pleading

I had a horrible dream last night. I dreamed my oldest son was going to kill me. He was looking me right in the eyes and had a gun and a knife. I pleaded with him not to do this and when I knew he was going to, I asked if I could pray for him first. And I prayed that God would convict his heart towards Him, and that he would repent for his hard heart towards God.

I was very surprised how much my concern was for Devin in my dream, and not myself. I actually forgot about it until I was reading my Bible this morning and read these verses: And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in in his Kingdom and glory. ~1 Thes 1:11-12

I had these verses underlined already because there aren't a lot of verses in the Bible that tell us specifically how to be parents. I love that this is what fathers are supposed to be doing. And I don't think God will mind if mothers attempt to parent in this way as well.

Have no idea why I dreamed that last night though. Hopfully I have just been watching too much TV lately....


**Update**
Later in the day I remembered the TV show I had watched that was very similar to my dream. Need to be more careful!

I really don't like daylight savings time.

And I haven't even attempted to get my kids up yet....

My time is not mine?

Yesterday was a really nice day. It was my daughter's 10th Birthday. "Double Digits!," as she likes to say. I had a million things to do and I got them all done and I wasn't even worried about it. That was a wonderful new experience for me. Usually, even the thought of having lots to do overwhelms me. My favorite sort of day is the one in which there is nothing I have to do, but lots I can do if I want to, with lots of surprises throughout the day. Because if nothing actually happens, that is horrible too. I am not hard to please at all, am I? :)

I realized this morning that I don't ever need to be afraid I won't have enough time to do what God wants me to do every day. He is the Lord of Time, as well as everything else. I may not have enough time to do everything I want to do, but His will is more important to me than mine, finally, which is why the time thing is getting easier. I have had the hardest time :), trying to learn that my time is not my own. It feels nice to be loosening my grip on it a bit more.

Is there anything in your life that you have a hard time letting go of as your own?

Silence is Under-Rated

It is really bothering me today how noisy everything is. This morning, I turned off my pellet stove, unplugged my fish tank filter and put the computer on stand-by. Then it was finally quiet enough to hear my clock tick and my dog sigh. Until my fridge kicked on. And I noticed my coffee pot makes a popping sound so I had to turn that off too.

Hopefully the fish won't suffocate.

Isn't it weird how much better God-made sounds are than man-made sounds? (Ocean vs. Fish tank)

There are some exceptions, but in general. :)