Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Confessions

As I struggle with a touch of sadness from my grandma's death, and my longing for something more (which is with me so much I used to think it was part of who I am) I do immature, impatient things.

Yesterday while I was eating the cookie I got for my husband (yes, I had already eaten mine), I knew I was trying to comfort myself. I knew that when I ate my cookie. I knew I should wait for God to comfort me but I didn't.

The thought came to my mind, "You are not satisfied with me, Child."

I was shocked! "Of course I am Lord, how could I not be?"

"You are satisfied with who I AM, but you are not satisfied in me."

Oh, My Lord, I am so sorry......

Why spend money on what is not bread and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest fare. Isaiah 55:2



3 comments:

michel saunders said...

Is it just that we want what we want? We want the LORD but we want the cookie too! I don't always see it as not being satisfied with just Him but more of getting it ALL! Doesn't work, I tend to be more rebelious about the whole thing than you. I will say I have learned to be content even when my stomach is growling ferociously, or just to be satisfied with the aroma rather than the food. There is some freedom to be had when it is just Him. He is the abundant life, I want that more than anything!
Julene

Tawny said...

I didn't even want the cookie really. I wanted to soothe the ache that was in my heart and the cookie would do it for about 2 minutes. So I ate Jason's cookie, to give me two more minutes. :)

Andresa said...

I have discovered I too am an emotional eater. I never used to be, but man lately, I find myself trying to "comfort" myself with a little chocolatey something. I think, I am like Julene, I want it all!! And I agree with you, I need to get all my comfort from HIM!