Monday, May 26, 2008

NMFPIMWLC

Ok, I think I figured out what I am officially doing. But it is weird. I am trying to learn how to "Eat in the Spirit". What does that mean? I am not sure yet, but I am guessing it is similar to "Mothering in the Spirit". I do know how to do that. It was SOOOOO hard for me to be a mom. The constant dying to my own desires and the never ending demands that were never reciprocated. I used to be all about instant gratification and there is NONE in mothering. I read a bizillion christian parenting books, all of which seemed to contradict one another. I finally threw the last one across the room and told God, "I am done trying to figure out how to be a mom, You have to teach me Yourself, Lord. These are Your kids just as much as they are mine and I cannot do this without You." I don't know how many times after that I ended up sitting on my kitchen or bathroom floor, sobbing, begging Him to make me a better mom. But He has. I actually like being a mom now. I dare say I even love it. I never thought in a million years I would have such a complete change of heart. I still have bad days, but nothing like they used to be. So, when we started this, nutioghkghowi thing, I had the same kind of moment. "Lord, my body is Yours. Do with it what You will. Sickness, health, fat, skinny, it is Yours. I can not take care of it without You. Lead me by Your Spirit, teach me how You want me to eat." So far, all I got was "Listen to your body, it knows what it needs". I don't know if that was even truly Him, but I have lost five pounds in two weeks just by eating what sounds good and trying to pay attention to when I didn't want any more. Time will tell. I do so appreciate the support and focus doing this with other people brings. Thank you.

7 comments:

4evrhis said...

good job! it is all a matter of making a choice...not that I have figured all this out, but its nice to have support. Glad you are on board.

inWorship said...

Sounds like your in a great place with this Tawny. Your doing awesome!

Tawny said...

Thanks Guys!

hislifeformine said...

You are doing great Tawny. Bravo!!

Joel said...

tawny...you are doing awesome...the cool thing about this little shindig is all the others involved. Support is good..Praying for ya.

Elaine said...

Good job Tawny! You should be proud of yourself!
Happy Day!

Angie said...

Keep listening! =) In fact, we all could stand to listen more to what our body, mind and soul needs instead of acting on pure impulse. It's a hard thing but each step in the right direction will get us there. Keep it up!