How many times do I have to give this back to God? Being fat is not a sin. Gluttony is a sin. "The act or habit of eating or drinking more than necessary." Ok, so what is necessary? Barely sustaining life or enjoying food and drink? Limiting ourselves so we are as beautiful as possible or walking in the freedom of just eating whatever is handy when we are hungry? We all have our own lines, our own answers to that question. I have been on a diet for 24 hours and I am miserable. I have not been this insecure or unhappy for months.
I need to love my kids, I need to be happy for my husband. He hates it when I am like this. I will ask God, in His mercy, to lead me by His Spirit and convict me of sin. I do not want to sin against Him by eating too much. I want to please Him in every area of my life, He knows that. He has not seen fit to help me with this in the way I want. I will accept that. He knows what is best for me. Maybe I would be proud or unapproachable, or only He~knows~what, if I could do this.
I don't want to forfeit the plan He has for me because I am spending my life trying to lose weight. My life is His, my body is His. He can do with it what He wills.
I know some of you have this figured out. You can eat right and love the people around you at the same time. I can't. I really, really wish I could. I keep hoping someday I will be able to. Apparently, not yet.