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Encouragement From a Dry Spell

Do you ever feel like you are outwardly wasting away? I have been feeling that way lately. Not just with my body but with my whole life. Like the outward part of my life, the stuff people can see, is a mess. A wasteful mess. I feel like I should be able to “get it together”. After all, isn’t the Spirit of God dwelling inside of me, giving me His power? I am not doing as well as some unbelievers I know. I feel like a tree in the late Autumn when just the ugly brown leaves are left dangling from the limbs. Will I get to spring back to life outwardly soon, or do I have to wait for Heaven? This is a continual frustration for me. It is partly because I am horrible at doing the boring, mundane stuff that a pretty life requires, and it is partly because God won’t allow me to put anything before Him. If He would let me obsess about the things I want to change, I think I would do it. But then I neglect my relationship with Him or my husband or my kids. And then I have to repent from that and get my priorities back in order. Then the mess returns. Maybe this is a maturity thing, and someday I can do all the things in my life I would like to do. Maybe not. Maybe my life will become so much about God that I really don’t care what it looks like on the outside. I don’t know the answer to that yet. All of these thoughts tumbling around in my head have made me think of the verses in 2 Corinthians 4:15-16: Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. These verses encouraged me, because I do feel that inwardly I am being renewed day by day. I see myself being more loving to my kids when I want to scream at them. I see my husband’s perspective more when we disagree, and my heart is lighter and freer than ever before. So, I guess my life is like that tree and I will trust God for the Spring. Won’t Heaven be glorious when we get to see everything as it truly is?