An Old Newsletter Article From 2005

Happy Easter Everyone!

I am so thankful I can say that now. I grew up so religious that we couldn't celebrate any holidays! I didn't know what I was supposed to be celebrating anyway. I believed in God, because He made more sense than the Big Bang theory and I did not want to go to hell, but I did not understand why Jesus had to die. I didn't even realize He is God. I thought He was a perfect man that God created to be a good example to us. But I explained to God that if He really wanted this plan to work, He needed to have made us perfect as well, and He didn't! 

The resurrection didn't make much sense to me either 'cause didn't that just put Him right back where He started? And why did Jesus have to die, anyway? Couldn't God have come up with a better plan than that? I asked my mom about it, and she said it was so we would know how much God loved us. I thought "He didn't have to go to those extremes, He could just give me everything I want and that would work just as well, if not better!" :) I wasn't taught about holiness and sacrifices and all of the vital information we need to know about His plan. I didn't know know that Jesus lived and died just so He could be WITH me! What a revelation when someone explained the Trinity to me and I realized WHO Jesus is and what He has sacrificed for me!

My favorite thing about Easter is thinking about Jesus' followers. They must have been so grief stricken and disappointed! I am sure there was some serious depression going on! Imagine the hope that flooded their souls when they heard "He is risen!" I get a little taste of this when I get really discouraged about something and then remember or read a verse that reminds me of God's faithfulness and power and that, this is about Him and His plan, not about me and my weaknesses. I also love that Easter is in the Spring, because I really don't like Winter very much and the first sign of Spring fills my heart with that same hope...New Life in Jesus!

May we all experience ~ Renewed Life in Him ~ this Easter Season!

Can we worship without emotions?

So, I am reading a book by a "spiritual director" and he says something I find very disturbing.

He writes, "Am I supposed to have the same emotional feelings for a God I cannot see that I have for my closest friend? Even on my best of days, that doesn't seem possible."

What?????? Aren't we supposed to be WORSHIPING Jesus? Wouldn't worship be a stronger emotion than friendship?? Wouldn't worship include friendship, (since Jesus says we are His friends) but at the same time transcend friendship to something we can only truly have with one person?

I will do things for Jesus that I would not do for my husband or my kids or my best friends. Why? Well, because first of all, He is never wrong, He is never selfish and I want to please Him more than I want to please anyone else, even myself, (on my good days). Sometimes what the people around me want aren't good things, and sometimes, I would selfishly rather please myself than please them. Shouldn't worship motivate us in a way that friendship or marriage or parenthood would fail to do? Isn't worship the strongest emotional feeling we can have for anyone or anything? Isn't that part of what makes it worship?

There are times I don't have many feelings for God but those are usually times I don't have any good feelings about anyone else or anything else either. I am usually feeling sorry for myself, or exhausted or hungry or worn out or feeling defeated. In those moments, I would not say I am worshiping God either. I would say I have lost sight of Him and am completely focused on myself.

I am so glad God is emotional and created us to have emotions for Him as well!

I don't think I am going to finish this book.

Reminder for myself...

The Cost of Following Jesus

Luke 9:⁵⁷ As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”

⁵⁸ Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

⁵⁹ He said to another man, “Follow me.”

But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”

⁶⁰ Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

⁶¹ Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”

⁶² Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Safety Check

I realized something this morning...

I don't need to feel insecure EVER. Because God created me, Jesus saved me, the Spirit is transforming me, I don't need to worry about who I am.

I still need a lot of work. God is not even close to done making me good. I lied to one of my friends yesterday and had to fess up. (And she loved me more for it, which is so wonderfully sweet.)

But I am safe.

Not from pain, not from trials and tests, possibly not from bodily harm, even though I told God I would love it if He keeps me healthy and strong and free from physical harm so I can focus on serving Him, (physical pain is so distracting to me! smile, cough) to feel free to make that happen! But nothing can harm my soul. Nothing will take me out of the hands that formed me and know me and shape my future. Not even my own mistakes. He will never run out of love or patience, grace or power. His heart is my safe place and His heart is always open to me. ♥ I am safe in the only way that matters in the end.

John 8:51 I assure you: If anyone keeps My word,he will never see death—ever! ~ Jesus,The Messiah

Endings and Beginnings...

I can't believe tomorrow is my last day of work at TRF. I thought I would be there until I was a very old lady. It is funny how quickly life can change sometimes. I woke up on a Sunday morning about a month ago and knew God wanted me to say good-bye to all these people I love so much and a job I have loved so much and follow Him...somewhere. He hasn't exactly shown me that part of this story yet. But I have learned that is the way He leads ~ one step at a time. I am not afraid. Tonight I am sad. Tomorrow will be worse. I have to say good-bye and turn in my key. I know I will stay in touch with some people, but some others I will not really get to hang out with again until we are in heaven, where we will all have plenty of time. I am so thankful for all my years at TRF. For all of the people who have touched my life, my heart. For the women I have had the privilege to love and serve. For the good times and the hard times. I have grown through it all. I have been loved and led and changed there. No Regrets. God is so good...

I really don't think we were made for endings.