Safety Check

I realized something this morning...

I don't need to feel insecure EVER. Because God created me, Jesus saved me, the Spirit is transforming me, I don't need to worry about who I am.

I still need a lot of work. God is not even close to done making me good. I lied to one of my friends yesterday and had to fess up. (And she loved me more for it, which is so wonderfully sweet.)

But I am safe.

Not from pain, not from trials and tests, possibly not from bodily harm, even though I told God I would love it if He keeps me healthy and strong and free from physical harm so I can focus on serving Him, (physical pain is so distracting to me! smile, cough) to feel free to make that happen! But nothing can harm my soul. Nothing will take me out of the hands that formed me and know me and shape my future. Not even my own mistakes. He will never run out of love or patience, grace or power. His heart is my safe place and His heart is always open to me. ♥ I am safe in the only way that matters in the end.

John 8:51 I assure you: If anyone keeps My word,he will never see death—ever! ~ Jesus,The Messiah

Endings and Beginnings...

I can't believe tomorrow is my last day of work at TRF. I thought I would be there until I was a very old lady. It is funny how quickly life can change sometimes. I woke up on a Sunday morning about a month ago and knew God wanted me to say good-bye to all these people I love so much and a job I have loved so much and follow Him...somewhere. He hasn't exactly shown me that part of this story yet. But I have learned that is the way He leads ~ one step at a time. I am not afraid. Tonight I am sad. Tomorrow will be worse. I have to say good-bye and turn in my key. I know I will stay in touch with some people, but some others I will not really get to hang out with again until we are in heaven, where we will all have plenty of time. I am so thankful for all my years at TRF. For all of the people who have touched my life, my heart. For the women I have had the privilege to love and serve. For the good times and the hard times. I have grown through it all. I have been loved and led and changed there. No Regrets. God is so good...

I really don't think we were made for endings.

Wow, this is intimidating for sure...

And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God,
~Titus 2:12

Doesn't that sound so grown up??

Righteousness

Wow, there are a lot of verses that have the word "righteousness" in them! This is going to be a much bigger study than I thought.

I have been thinking about righteousness because of this verse, But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Math 6:33) The NLT translation says it this way, Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

I have loved this verse for a long time, but I have overlooked the part about righteousness. Probably because even the word righteousness intimidates me. A lot. It used to scare me to death, before I realized Jesus gives us HIS righteousness because He knew we couldn't be righteous on our own. But even after realizing that, I tried to ignore righteousness because there seems to be so much responsibility in it and such potential for failure. I feel my heart changing about righteousness though. ONLY because God has put His Holy Spirit in me, I can learn how to do what is right. Right by God's standards, not man's.

Is righteousness just doing what is right by God's standards? Is it that simple? I do so want to please Him...

Blogging again...

It has been a long, hard summer. But good. God has done some amazing things in my family. I really wish it didn't take pain and tragedy for us to draw closer to Him. Well, it doesn't always, but that does seem the usual route. I have been thinking a lot about righteousness lately. What is it exactly? What does it mean to be righteous and live righteously? I am hoping to have time to really dig into this subject and blog about it soon. :)

I am so glad Jesus said this:

“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he will rejoice over it more than over the ninety-nine that didn’t wander away! In the same way, it is not my heavenly Father’s will that even one of these little ones should perish."

Loving Him...

My family is going through a very hard time right now. I don't want to go into details publicly. I just want to say how amazing God is. He keeps showing up in so many little ways. The other day I was wishing there were more birds in our yard. Right now, I am sitting at my kitchen table while a pair of doves build a nest in our wisteria, right outside the window. And He knows doves cooing are one of my favorite sounds. I have been all stressed out about which purse to buy (not that I am super concerned about that now that we are in crisis) but my friend sent me one that I love, unexpectedly. And the sun is shining with the wind blowing just a little bit, which is my favorite weather. But most of all, I feel my God teaching me to trust Him more. Trusting that He loves me and delights in my love (as small as it is) and has good plans for my life and for my family, no matter how painful they are. And that makes everything right.

Why do we reject God's ways????

I keep thinking about these verses: This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. (Is 30:15) I could be living with a quiet, trusting, restful, strong heart and mind. I have moments of that, but I don't LIVE there. And I could. It is a choice. I want to learn to make better choices. I don't want to neglect the repentance either. That is were it all starts. Instead of freaking out in insecurity because I am sure I am sinning or afraid I am sinning, I can go straight to my Savior and start this beautiful repentance process. I can do it all day long, if I need to. He is big enough. And patient enough. And loving enough. And He wants us to live in strength and dignity. He died so we could be free and in fellowship with Him. I want to choose LIFE!!!!!!!!

Under Whose Influence?

So, I don't like revelations that make me see the ugly parts of me as much as I like revelations that show the wonderfulness of God.

The good thing is He is willing to exchange our ugly for His beauty if we are willing to cooperate.

I have realized lately that I try and "steer" people a lot. Only for their own good, of course. (insert eye-roll here) I am guessing that another label for that could be arrogance. Ugg, I feel like banging my head on the wall just writing that.

I have gotten better, because I used to try and "steer" people into doing what I wanted and now I try and steer them into doing what I think God wants. I have realized He is perfectly capable of guiding His people without my help.

Well, actually, there are times when He does call me to influence but I want to influence under His command, not my own wisdom. My own wisdom does not see the whole picture, only a tiny piece. If He tells me to speak I want to obey, whether it makes sense or not. If I don't feel prompted by Him, I want to keep my mouth shut and my heart pure and trust Him to lead His people however He sees fit.

I am hoping not too many of you are jumping up and down, praising Him for revealing this to me. :)

Not worthy, but so grateful.

I have to blog about this because I don't ever want to forget it. And I don't want anyone to think I am bragging because I am humbled to the core (right now, anyway) and so amazed at God's mercy and love. Keep in mind my daughter has one of the sweetest hearts on earth as well.

Laney: Mama, you're the best mom on earth!

Me: You mean for you, right? I know there are better moms out there than me!

Laney: No, I mean you are the best mom on earth.

Me: Baby, I am not even nice!

Laney: Mom, I don't know how to say it. (thoughtful pause) It's not who you are as a mom, it's like who you are as a person, even though you are crabby a lot!

I never thought my kids would esteem me so highly. Not ever. I am so grateful. And I know the teen-age years are coming, so I am treasuring this moment.